Just some thinking going on.....

So, we already figured out that loneliness is what triggers my depression into coming back. So that's what I'm trying to avoid. This is why the choice of moving out sounds like a good one.

Becca said I can live with her. Actual seriousness too. I want that. The Bowen house is what I need. I need that restriction. A bedtime, someone to make me study & do my homework. Friends and caring people around me all the time.

Let's hope this happens.

I guess I feel like blogging about my thoughts on you guys lately.

Becca Bowen - Lately you've been the bestest friend I can ever ask for. We seem to be spending a whole lot of time together lately and we might even live together soon. I'm really hoping that works out. You seem to be the one who always makes me happy lately and I love your family. I wish my mom was like yours. I'm lucky to have you as....well...a sister.

Heather Bradshaw - Lately, me & you keep getting into fights. That's so unlike us. We seem to be drifting this year, it's quite upsetting. It seems that texting is the only way to get to you. I know most of it is because you have Timmy now and other friends, but still. Can we please try and stop with all the drama??? lol Ilys.

Kaitlyn Miller - Girl, I don't even know. Me & you got close real quick. We seem to mesh well I guess. I hope to become best friends with you this year. :)

Jason Szkapi - I love you way too much to ever try and hurt you or get mad at you. I hate that.

Megan Bates - Babe, you crazy & I love it! You make my days in 3rd & 4th period! I can't wait to save lives with you!

Mom - I love you and I always will. You're my mom. But living with you is not for me. I need a better environment.

Bowens - All of you, even you Raymond (even though you're not a Bowen) are amazing. This family is crazy & i love every part of it. :)

David McCarty - I love you so much bgf. Nuff said.

Dustin Sheppard - You're such a douche sometimes, but I love you anyways :)

So tonight was a night of mixed emotions. But as long as I'm strong, I can get through it. :)

My childhood lol

Jimi Hendrix is orgasmic

.:*blah*:.
How tall are you?	5 foot 1
Do you like bananas?	Yeppers
What is your favorite song of all time?	Numb by Linkin Park
What do you do on Fridays?	Hang with someone
Flip flops or sandals?	Flip Flops
Vitamin Water or Gatorade?	Vitamin Water
Have you had a beer in the past week?	Nope.
If you could have one super human power, what would you choose?	Shapeshifting
What is your favorite place?	Any place with my friends
Do you read Harry Potter books?	Not anymore..I don't re-read books
What is your favorite food?	Cereal lol
Where do you want to travel next?	Somewhere with my friends....Miami or Panama or somewhere
What is your favorite PJ fabric?	Umm....depends lol
Boat or bus?	Boat
Walking past a beggar, spare change or ignore?	Ignore
Do you shower every single day?	No
Kill the spider or let it out?	Kill it
What is your favorite TV show?	Boy Meets World...Degrassi...Dexter...so many lol
Do you eat cold cereal at night?	Yes!
Define yourself in 3 words?	Honest. Non-judgemental. Trustworthy.
Would you rather be blind or death?	Blind
Are you a cat or a dog person?	Cat....I'm too lazy for a dog
Which is worse? A bad laugh or a bad cough?	laugh
Favorite fruit?	Uh......grapes & starfruit
Juice and crackers or milk and cookies?	Milk & Cookies
Who are you going to vote for in 2008?	I'm young...I didn't vote
Firefox, Internet Explorer, Netscape or other?	Google Chrome
What was your last thought?	I'm so hungry
Favorite element?	Hmm air or earth
Where is Waldo?	In between my legs
Do you support Paris?	Ehh
Why did the chicken cross the road?	To come be my dinner
Your favorite Disney films?	Beauty & the Beast, Lion King, & Hercules
If you had to pick one car, which would it be?	Rapist Van
Most embarrassing moment?	There's quite a bit lol
Most memorable past?	Yoo Hoo every morning with my Dad
What is your favorite clothing brand?	I don't have one lol
Opera, Musical, Concert, Play, Performance, or Other?	Concert
Favorite Place to Eat?	Buffets
Would you rather lose an arm or a leg?	Hmm.....arm
Would you rather be hot or cold?	cold
T-Mobile, U.S. Cellular, Cingular/AT&T, or Sprint/Nextel?	AT&T
Water or 100% Juice?	100% Juice
What size shoe do you wear?	IDK...like 6??
How do you feel?	Okay :)
Romance or Kinky Sex?	BOTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Get the number or give the number?	get
When do you plan on getting married?	When I'm sure I'm ready
Do you have any tattoos, and if so what and where?	None yet
Who do you admire most?	Myself lol jk
Do you own any pets, and if so what do you have?	Cats. 3 of them.
Where do you see yourself in five years?	College
If you had only six months to live, what would you do first?	Have Sex
What is your favourite word?	Awesome
If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?	Greece or Canada
Take this survey or other MySpace Surveys at PimpSurveys.com

My friends :)

About My Friends:

<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>

Do You Have A Lot Of Friends?	I actually do
Who Is Your Best Friend?	Heather or Becca...or Kaitlyn
Which Friend(s) have you known the longest?	Ashley
Craziest?	Kaitlyn
Funniest?	Hmm...Brandon as of late
Most Attractive?	Justin Walker. lmao
Best Dressed?	I love the way Heather & Kaitlyn dress
Oldest?	Um... Ashley
Youngest?	Uh.....Lindsey or Iiaonna
Tallest?	Jacey
Smallest?	Besides me....Megan
Smartest?	Elisabeth
Most Trustworthy?	Heather & Sammi
Who Do You Talk To The Most?	Alot of people but I think David has them beat
Who Do You Hangout With The Most?	David, Kaitlyn, & Becca
Do You Have A Crush On Any Of Your Friends?	................................2 of them lol
Name 1 Friend That Drinks	(all of them) Kaitlyn
Name 1 Friend That Smokes	Dustin
Who Calls You The Most?	Nobody in there right mind actually calls me lol
Who Texts You The Most?	David
Friend(s) you haven't seen in a while	Ashley
Wisest?	Hmm....they're all wise in different areas...but probably Jason
Prepiest?	Amber
Punkest?	Heather
Loudest?	KAITLYN
Cool To Chill With?	All of them..lol
Where Do You Hangout With Your Friends The Most?	My house, lake, or their house
Random Friend	Damien
Last Place You Hungout With A Friend?	My house
Last Friend You Saw?	Jacey
Last Friend That Called You?	Uhh....idk lol
Who Do You Talk To On The Phone The Most?	Stephen
Do You Enjoy Talking To Them?	Yes
Kindest?	Sammi & Elisabeth
Meanest?	Roland
Who You Talk To Most On The Internet?	Justin
Most Like You?	Lindsey or Iiaonna
Who Knows The Real You?	Heather
Take this survey or other MySpace Surveys at PimpSurveys.com

It Seems Like...

All I have to do to get attention these days is to change my style a bit.
My glasses started to annoy me, I stopped wearing.
I started finding ways to make my wardrobe all punkish, I started dressing like that.
I started teasing my hair so I could do something with it.
My makeup's been getting a little better.

Now that all of that has been done, I get alot more attention. Are people really that into looks??

Atlas

Life isn't really hard right now, but it feels like I'm carrying the world on my shoulders.
I think it's because several things are being thrown at me and I'm trying to balance everything.
School, social life, family life, trying to find a job, and actually hoping for a boyfriend.

So far my grades...well French anyway is slipping. I don't want to fail any classes again.
My social life is sky rocketing. I'm actually always doing something on the weekends now. I've craved this and I don't want to let it go. But I might have to. Just a little at least.
I hardly spend time with my family anymore and I know I should because my grandparents keep nagging.
Since my social life is sky rocketing, I constantly need money I don't have. Between my phone & my college class...I'm drained.
I'm also sick & tired of seeing all these cute couples. I hate being picky too. I just want a boyfriend who I can actually like and appreciate.

It's amazing how much better you feel after catching up on your sleep and having a good breakfast. No wonder all the non-bus riders look cheerful. Haha.

Of course I have nothing else better to do...

So I'm going to do a survey. Why? Because I'm on a writers block right now.. well not really. But I'm debating on how to write it all. So...yeah.

You....!
Name	Layla
Ethnicity	White
Height	5'1ish
Hair Color	Not even a specific one anymore. Played with it too much.
Eye Color	Brownish hazel
Your opinions please?
Abortion	It's the pregnant persons choice. I don't think I could do it though.
Capital Punishment	Not my business.
Immigration	Let them live here and do the crappy jobs. I don't care.
War	Hurry up with it already.
America	Has turned into a fucked up place.
Gay Marriage	Yes please. The only thing I can really support.
The Economy	Is as down as Lil Wayne and I.
What???
Political Party are you	Independent.
Extrovert or Introvert	Extrovert with some introverted qualities.
Favorite sport	Fighting (UFC)
Favorite person from that sport	Anderson Silva
Favorite person	Me.
Bothers you	Racism and homophobes mostly. Also having broken headphones.
Are you passionate about	Gay marriage. Love of all types. Helping people.
Do you really think about yourself	I think I'm an okay person considering where I came from.
Mas!
Favorite culture	Greek
Most attractive ethnicity	Greeks and Indians
Favorite childhood cartoon	Rugrats, Simpsons, and South Park
Favorite childhood memory	Getting Yoo-Hoo's every morning with my dad before school.
Favorite subject	As of now. AP Psychology and Patient Care.
What do you want to be when you grow up	Either a psychologist, a bartender, or a nurse.
What would be your ideal life	A life where I'm happy and in love.
Take this survey or other MySpace Surveys at PimpSurveys.com

Perfect

I think I'm going to start dedicating songs to people...like...they can play these songs at my party when I die. LoL. This one's for my dad father.


Perfect by Simple Plan

Hey dad look at me


Think back and talk to me

Did I grow up according to plan?

And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?

But it hurts when you disapprove all along



And now I try hard to make it

I just want to make you proud

I'm never gonna be good enough for you

I can't pretend that

I'm alright

And you can't change me



'Cuz we lost it all

Nothing lasts forever

I'm sorry

I can't be perfect

Now it's just too late and

We can't go back

I'm sorry

I can't be perfect



I try not to think

About the pain I feel inside

Did you know you used to be my hero?

All the days you spent with me

Now seem so far away

And it feels like you don't care anymore



And now I try hard to make it

I just want to make you proud

I'm never gonna be good enough for you

I can't stand another fight

And nothing's alright



'Cuz we lost it all

Nothing lasts forever

I'm sorry

I can't be perfect

Now it's just too late and

We can't go back

I'm sorry

I can't be perfect



Nothing's gonna change the things that you said

Nothing's gonna make this right again

Please don't turn your back

I can't believe it's hard

Just to talk to you

But you don't understand



'Cuz we lost it all

Nothing lasts forever

I'm sorry

I can't be perfect

Now it's just too late and

We can't go back

I'm sorry

I can't be perfect



'Cuz we lost it all

Nothing lasts forever

I'm sorry

I can't be perfect

Now it's just too late and

We can't go back

I'm sorry

I can't be perfect

I love this song! It's pimp!

You ready?! Let's go!


Yeah, for those of you that want to know what we're all about

It's like this y'all (c'mon!)



[Chorus:]

This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill

Fifteen percent concentrated power of will

Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain

And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!



Mike! - He doesn't need his name up in lights

He just wants to be heard whether it's the beat or the mic

He feels so unlike everybody else, alone

In spite of the fact that some people still think that they know him

But fuck em, he knows the code

It's not about the salary

It's all about reality and making some noise

Making the story - making sure his clique stays up

That means when he puts it down Tak's picking it up! Let's go!



Who the hell is he anyway?

He never really talks much

Never concerned with status but still leaving them star struck

Humbled through opportunities given despite the fact

That many misjudge him because he makes a living from writing raps

Put it together himself, now the picture connects

Never asking for someone's help, or to get some respect

He's only focused on what he wrote, his will is beyond reach

And now it all unfolds, the skill of an artist



This is twenty percent skill

Eighty percent beer

Be a hundred percent clear cause Ryu is ill

Who would've thought that he'd be the one to set the west in flames

And I heard him wreck it with The Crystal Method, "Name Of The Game"

Came back dropped Megadef, took em to church

I like bleach man, why you had the stupidest verse?

This dude is the truth, now everybody's giving him guest spots

His stock's through the roof I heard he's fuckin' with S. Dot!



[Chorus]



They call him Ryu, he's sick

And he's spitting fire

And mike got him out the dryer he's hot

Found him in Fort Minor with Tak

What a fuckin' nihilist porcupine

He's a prick, he's a cock

The type woman want to be with, and rappers hope he get shot

Eight years in the making, patiently waiting to blow

Now the record with Shinoda's taking over the globe

He's got a partner in crime, his shit is equally dope

You wont believe the kind of shit that comes out of this kid's throat



Tak! - He's not your everyday on the block

He knows how to work with what he's got

Making his way to the top

He often gets a comment on his name

People keep asking him was it given at birth

Or does it stand for an acronym?

No he's living proof, got him rocking the booth

He'll get you buzzing quicker than a shot of vodka with juice

Him and his crew are known around as one of the best

Dedicated to what they do and give a hundred percent



Forget Mike - Nobody really knows how or why he works so hard

It seems like he's never got time

Because he writes every note and he writes every line

And I've seen him at work when that light goes on in his mind

It's like a design is written in his head every time

Before he even touches a key or speaks in a rhyme

And those motherfuckers he runs with,

The kids that he signed?

Ridiculous, without even trying,

How do they do it?!



[Chorus - repeat 2x]