A song for Becca :)

When everything is wrong I'll come talk to you


You make things alright when I'm feeling blue



You are such a blessing and I wont be messing

with the one thing that brings light to all my darkness



You're my best friend

and I love you, and I love you

Yes I do



There is no other one who can take your place

I feel happy inside when I see your face

I hope you believe me

'Cause I speak sincerely

and I mean it when I tell you that I need you



You're my best friend

and I love you, and I love you

Yes I do



I'm here right beside you

I will never leave you

and I feel the pain you feel when you start crying



You're my best friend

and I love you, and I love you

Yes I do



You're my best friend

and I love you, and I love you

Yes I do

Yes I do...

Yes I do

Birthday

So yesterday was my birthday.
It was probably one of my worst, but at the same time, greatest birthdays.
I realized who my real friends are and who really cares about me.
I got more money than I really ever have on a birthday...which is good. I need an actual phone plan. Prepaid is lame.
My mom & I actually got along too. It was quite amazing.

But most of all, thank you Bowens for being there and spending time with me on my birthday. It meant alot to me. I love y'all with all my heart. <3

So all in all. What a fantastic weekend.

Happy Birthday to me

One more year.
One less year.
Happy.
Sad.
Not sure how to feel.
All I know is that time keeps going.

Meat

I wish I could cry.
I wish I could shed a tear.
I wish I could feel some pain.
Just a bit of sadness because you're not here.

Step out of this world.
Join you by your side.
Say my final words.
Release my last goodbye.

Missing our talks,
and the jokes that made me laugh.
Remembering the stuff we never did,
finally starts to make me sad.

It's hard to think you're gone.
It's hard to say goodbye.
I wish it never happened.
I wish you were still alive.

 - Layla Lockdown



I miss you Jonathon! R.I.P!

Just some thinking going on.....

So, we already figured out that loneliness is what triggers my depression into coming back. So that's what I'm trying to avoid. This is why the choice of moving out sounds like a good one.

Becca said I can live with her. Actual seriousness too. I want that. The Bowen house is what I need. I need that restriction. A bedtime, someone to make me study & do my homework. Friends and caring people around me all the time.

Let's hope this happens.

I guess I feel like blogging about my thoughts on you guys lately.

Becca Bowen - Lately you've been the bestest friend I can ever ask for. We seem to be spending a whole lot of time together lately and we might even live together soon. I'm really hoping that works out. You seem to be the one who always makes me happy lately and I love your family. I wish my mom was like yours. I'm lucky to have you as....well...a sister.

Heather Bradshaw - Lately, me & you keep getting into fights. That's so unlike us. We seem to be drifting this year, it's quite upsetting. It seems that texting is the only way to get to you. I know most of it is because you have Timmy now and other friends, but still. Can we please try and stop with all the drama??? lol Ilys.

Kaitlyn Miller - Girl, I don't even know. Me & you got close real quick. We seem to mesh well I guess. I hope to become best friends with you this year. :)

Jason Szkapi - I love you way too much to ever try and hurt you or get mad at you. I hate that.

Megan Bates - Babe, you crazy & I love it! You make my days in 3rd & 4th period! I can't wait to save lives with you!

Mom - I love you and I always will. You're my mom. But living with you is not for me. I need a better environment.

Bowens - All of you, even you Raymond (even though you're not a Bowen) are amazing. This family is crazy & i love every part of it. :)

David McCarty - I love you so much bgf. Nuff said.

Dustin Sheppard - You're such a douche sometimes, but I love you anyways :)

So tonight was a night of mixed emotions. But as long as I'm strong, I can get through it. :)