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Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Depression

Have you ever been depressed? No, not the type of depression where you're just angry from a test, a break up, or the fact that you got grounded. The type of depression to where you have to find reasons to live. Where everyday is a struggle. Where a tiny heartache can hurt you more than you can ever imagine and death doesn't seem so bad. Well that's the type of depression I have felt. I still tend to feel this way.


Everyday I have to look at the mirror and tell myself that I'm beautiful. Text my friends to remind myself that I have them. Hug my baby siblings to feel loved and see innocent smiles. I don't know why I am the way I am. I wish I was different. But I tend to think that even though depression might make me feel weak, I might be stronger than those without depression because they don't really have to fight so hard.


I have thought about suicide but I have NEVER attempted it. I have cut & scratched myself, but not enough to take me to the hospital or attract attention. I have broke down and have never wanted to come out of bed. I didn't want to listen to anything remotely happy or watch anything.Not wanting to eat. I wanted to just give up. But I'm still here.


I restarted my life after the last major break down. I moved to Georgia to live with my mom. Sure I still have my moments, but I know that life is worth the challenge. It may not be great now or at some other points, but I remember that there are good things. The laughter that's shared with friends after a great day of hanging out. The feel of a kiss or a hand intertwined in yours. The proud feeling you get when you accomplish something.


So to any of you with depression, don't give up. I believe in you.

Friday, July 16, 2010

My IV

With your long hair
and your piercing eyes,
it's no wonder you got me hypnotized.

I love it when you tickle me,
I love it when we kiss.
Can't stand not being around you,
you're too hard to resist.

You're my IV, you keep me stablized.
You're the one I always need when I'm breaking into cries.
So hold me tight, never let go.
Take me by the hand, let this love grow.

When I'm playing with your long hair,
or staring into those piercing eyes,
I've got this feeling. I've got nerves. I'm hypnotized.

When you tickle me, I can't help but laugh.
When we kiss, forever's how long I hope it lasts.
And when you're not around me, I miss you.
You're like a drug that's hard to resist, and I don't want to.

You're my IV, you keep me stablized.
You're the one I always need when I'm breaking into cries.
So hold me tight, never let go.
Take me by the hand, let this love grow.